The Degenerate Digest v.111

Bahahahaha. Fuck you Oregon! I didn’t even get a chance to let the readers know we made it to Conference Championship Saturday before you went and shit the bed again. It’s a tale as old as time. Death, taxes, and Oregon blowing their shot at the college football playoff once again. Couldn’t have a better ending to the Pac-12 conference.

While I did want Oregon to lose, I also bet on them. So really, the jokes on me. With that said - it was yet another learning experience. And that’s why today is Bet Against What Ya Want Saturday. That’s right. BAWYW. Not to be confused with WWJD or JJO. Getting a list ready for Santa? We’re betting against every single item. Below you will find not only today’s picks, but what I really want to happen in the game. Don’t get it twisted, this is not selfish. Just science.

(18) Oklahoma State @ (7) Texas: Oklahoma State +15

I want Texas to blow the doors off the Cowboys today. That’s what I really want. Did you hear about the Oklahoma State frat that gutted a Longhorn this week? Texas should win this game by 50. But BAWYW. Live strong, brother.

Final Score: Texas 32, Oklahoma State 21

(1) Georgia @ (8) Alabama: Georgia -4.5

Alabama is the best team in college football in my opinion. Georgia is a close second. But if Alabama has any chance of even competing for a National Championship, they need to win today. They won’t because it’s not what I want. I never get what I want. BAWYW.

Final Score: Georgia 37, Alabama 24

(2) Michigan @ (16) Iowa: Michigan -22

I would find it similarly hilarious if Iowa somehow won this game. Welcome to the new Big 10, where we took all the Pac 12 teams and adopted their style of getting in their own way late in the season. That’s what I want. Unfortunately, that means Michigan is going to potentially shutout Iowa today.

Final Score: Michigan 33, Iowa 3

(14) Louisville @ (4) Florida State: Florida State -2.5

We can’t have the Seminoles play in the college football playoff with a backup QB. We don’t deserve it. And thus, it will inevitably happen. BAWYW. Whatever way we want it, we ain’t gonna get it.

Final Score: Florida State 31, Louisville 27

Running Record: (237-209-7)