The Degenerate Digest V.117

Oh boy, here we go.

Week 2 and already tracking for 40%. It’s certainly not time to panic. Speaking of panic - I had a dream last night that the moon just absolutely smoked earth. Visuals vivid enough only Christopher Nolan could have been the director of these apocalyptic scenes taking place in my brain. And yet, while impending doom was right before me, I had a sense of peace. I didn’t run, but stood and enjoyed the show. Now, I’m not going to even remotely begin to analyze what this dream actually means because I think therapy is a sham. Instead, I’ll take this psychoanalytic hypothesis to Vegas and show them I’m not scared of starting off slow again. We’re degenerates at the end of the day -  unbothered by the act of losing. In these moments degenerates don’t run, we stand and enjoy the show.

(3) Texas @ (10) Michigan: Texas -6.5

This line dropped a whole point before I could drop a whole deuce this morning. I think a lot of people are on Texas. Rightfully so. Michigan may have one of the best defenses in college football, but their offense is just a junk drawer right now. It needs to be organized, but will it ever be organized? Their only hope is to keep the ball on the ground and rely on keeping the defense fresh. While I think this game will be close, I have my rules, bet on Texas being back until they’re not back. They won’t be back eventually, but I don’t think it’s today. I’m not going to question this movement, it’s eerily identical to how the Georgia/Clemson line moved last week and we all know how that played out. Hook’em Horns.

Final Score: Texas 24, Michigan 17

Bowling Green @ (8) Penn State: Penn State -34.5

It may have taken them a minute to get going, but man the Nittany Lions new look offense looks fun. Very fun. Taking WVU to the house by 22 on the road in Morgantown? Beaver Stadium is in for a treat today.

Final Score: Penn State 54, Bowling Green 17

Iowa State @ (21) Iowa: Iowa -2.5

Just take the home team in these games. It’s going to come down to who makes 1 more field goal. Just take the home team.

Final Score: Iowa 9, Iowa State 6

(14) Tennessee @ (24) NC State: Tennessee -9.5

Am I going to show some Rocky Top bias this season? Of course I am. I’m going to Tennessee/Alabama for my bachelor party. It would be silly of me not to hope Tennessee is one of if not the best team in the country leading up to that game. You want stats to back this pick up? You’re not going to get them. All you’re going to get is Nico Iamaleava's hand smackin ya upside the face saying.. 

Final Score: Tennessee 34, NC State 21

Colorado @ Nebraska: Over 56.5

Fuck Colorado. But also fuck Matt Rhule. Colorado’s defense looked like one of the most unorganized systems I’ve seen at a program selling out games and getting national TV spots. But can Dylan Riola handle the bright lights? There are whispers of Patrick Mahomes, for crying out loud the kid’s 19 years old!

Well, the kid is going to have to handle himself tonight because while the Cornhuskers defense is elite, Shedeur Sanders and Travis Hunter will find a way to keep getting points, even if they start out slow.

Final Score: Nebraska 32, Colorado 27

DM’s are open for the Premium Member Tickle Teaser. 

Speaking of, if you happened to take the Premium Member Tickle Teaser last week - man was that fun. But you’ll know what I mean when I say..

FUCK OREGON, IT’S ALWAYS FUCKING OREGON

Running Record: (244-220-7)