The Degenerate Digest v.135

Year Nine. I have more seasons under my belt than a decent amount of FBS programs do in their respective conferences. Pretty nuts. Before we enter back into the fold of yet another college football season, I want to take a moment to explore the historical impact of the number Nine. In numerology, various spiritual traditions, and its relevance in the Beatles “Revolution 9”. Lol, jk, that would be super lame. Let’s instead clear the air on where some Degenerate’s heads might be at to start this season based on how last year came to an end.

Some of you financially irresponsible, socially deprived, totally addicted to my picks individuals went 58% last year. Congrats. You are a true degenerate. 

Some of you on the other hand, the worst kind of degenerates - you know - the fake kind, had their money taken early only to never return. Ye of little faith. As a quick refresher, we started off last season with a Running Record of (240-214-7). By the Coin Flip Week 11 blog, we were sitting at (269-252-7), aka (29-38) or 43%. The response to that blog was met with either respectful jest, or utter nonsense. Some of you phonies left the Digest for the year that week. Shame on you and the handy you probably had to give some dude behind a dumpster to afford your kids Christmas presents. You make me sick.

To the true degenerate army out there, thank you. Not only did you stick it out for a generational run to end the year, (41-13), you also straight up paid for your kids Christmas presents and did not have to give any dumpster handy's. A true success story. 

The morale of the story as we ease ourselves back into this weekly routine of finding winners, is to always bounce with me. Why not ride? Why ever give up on yours truly? I’ve been doing this shit for nine years, let’s bounce. 

(22) Iowa State @ (17) Kansas State: Iowa State +3.5, 1Q U10.5

Farmageddon meets The Aer Lingus College Football Classic. What a nice airline by the way. There’s something about being greeted by an Irish stewardess that just puts any flight or travel anxiety at ease. Maybe it’s just because I’m nice and liquored up for my flights, and I’ve only flown Aer Lingus once, but still. I just recall it being a pleasant experience. 

You know what won’t be a pleasant experience? The first few drives of this game. I don’t think either of these offenses are going to be explosive really at any point this year - nor do I think they’re going to try anything crazy or force anything early on. They’ll try to get the run game going, both sides, and thus - I’m starting with a first quarter thick sack. 

This is also the only ranked matchup of the Week 0 slate, so I’ll take the points Vegas is providing.

Final Score: Iowa State 27, Kansas State 24

Idaho State @ UNLV: 1H Idaho State +17.5

Similar sort of breakdown here for this game in the sense that I am willing to take a flyer on UNLVs offense needing a few drives to get into rhythm. The Bengals just need to have some motivation for getting this game on the schedule as an FCS program to start the season. 

Final Score: UNLV 42, Idaho State 13

Fresno State @ Kansas: Kansas -13.5 

The return to David Boothe Memorial. That’s all I need to bet on Kansas here. Oh, and the fact that this is Fresno’s last season in the Mountain West, and has former Temple QB EJ Warner under center. I don’t give a shit whose son you are buddy, any player with Temple roots is an easy target for having a tough start. 

Final Score: Kansas 37, Fresno State 21

For our last two picks, let’s incorporate some reverse line movement. This is in no way suggesting I know nothing about these teams, I’m just trying to be diverse. 

Sam Houston @ Western Kentucky: Western Kentucky -10.5

Open: Sam Houston +9.5

Bets: 59% Sam Houston

Money: 63% Sam Houston

Line moved to Sam Houston +10.5

Final Score: Western Kentucky 36, Sam Houston 24

Stanford @ Hawaii: Under 50.5

Open: 55.5

Bets: 68% Over

Money: 53% Over

Line moved down to 50.5

Final Score: Stanford 21, Hawaii 17

Great to be back ya lunatics.

Running Record: (310-265-7)