The Degenerate Digest v.155
- 5 hours ago
- 4 min read
Ten years. A decade. It’s crazy to think that I started this rag after graduating college out of boredom living with my grandparents because I didn’t have enough money to afford my own place. Never would I have guessed in the ten years to follow I would move four times, endure a global pandemic, completely change my career path, buy a house, marry the love of my life, and welcome into the world our first born son. All while maintaining a 55% winning percentage on picks I still provide free of charge, in a written-word format that has unmatched entertainment value (probably) in the college football landscape.
After ten years, I finally am willing to ask the question. Am I sharp? Let’s turn to the expert opinion of artificial intelligence to answer this question without bias, leaning on data only to support the response.
Sharp dressed man, population me bro. Ten years, my fellow degenerates. Ten years.
The state of college football is ever changing. Just this week we had a whole kerfuffle on eligibility concerns because NFL players being waived by their teams in training camp were being added to college rosters. I have my opinions on that, on the playoff format, on conference alignments and direction, but my guess is you don’t care about them and you just want the picks. It is only Week 0 after all. Fair enough, I’ll save some takes as they become relevant in the games themselves. Bone apple tea, let’s eat.
Public Service Announcement: Because I have a kid now, and I am very popular (probably) based on my schedule over the next month or so, I will need to write some of these blogs earlier than my usual Saturday morning schedule. This really doesn’t change much, but some line movement can take place. I plan to release these still on Saturday morning - so I’ll wait to hear from the court of public opinion if that should change so the lines you get are as close to the ones in the blog.
North Carolina @ TCU: Under 46.5
Would I be able to start off Year X without a Thick Sack Alert? Nope. The tradition we have come to learn and love over the past few seasons strikes again, the first game of the FBS season kicking off in Dublin, Ireland. The only thing more dysfunctional about this game is Bill Belichick's sex life. Did JorDON come along for a proper pint and an Irish jig? Or is Billy Boy fully locked in and focused on making his second season at UNC a much more respected campaign now with Bobby Petrino running the offense? The Horned Frogs did lose some luster with the exit of OC Kendall Briles, being replaced by former UConn Huskies OC Gordon Sammis. QB Josh Hoover was snagged by Cignetti - however 2 time FCS offensive player of the year winner and Harvard brain, Jaden Craig, comes into the fold. I simply cannot pass up the opportunity in a rainy Aviva Stadium with so much new offensively for both squads to not man up and throw out a gross under. Local blessings of ‘May the wind always be at your back’ may be bestowed upon these two teams before kickoff, but said wind may simply be a stinky aftermath from a hefty serving of sheppard’s pie.
Final Score: TCU 24, North Carolina 20
NC State @ Virginia: Virginia -4.5
I saw the Virginia injury report, and have no reason to be taking the Cavelier’s here. I also saw that this line opened at -4 with the majority of bets and money on the Wolfpack and the line creeped the opposite way. Let’s test the reverse line movement waters early in Week 0. Also, Virginia’s defense is going to be legit again. NC State also lost a good amount of weapons offensively.
Fun fact, this game was originally supposed to be played in Rio De Janeiro. Within the last week that got scrapped and it was announced Virginia would host a home game. I feel bad for the 14 dedicated NC State fans that planned a whole trip around that only to be re-routed to good ol Scott Stadium in Charlottesville, VA. Maybe I can help with the finances if these bets hit. Probably not gonna be very fun to lose by 5 or more in Charlottesville when you could have been in Brazil.
Final Score: Virginia 28, NC State 23
Hawaii @ Stanford: Hawaii +4.5, 1H Under 24.5
My favorite bet every Week 0. The Rainbow Warriors. Don’t do any research, just blindly bet Hawaii. I don’t make the rules. Oh wait, I do.
Final Score: Stanford 23, Hawaii 19
Memphis @ UNLV: UNLV -4.5
I think UNLV is going to win the Mountain West and potentially be the Group of Six team to make it to the college football playoff. Don’t need much more reasoning than that to take them in Week 0 in a solid matchup against another team looking to take the next step under Charles Huff. The Rebels basically need to win this game if they want that playoff entry to come to fruition.
Final Score: UNLV 33, Memphis 24
Welcome back, you sick fucks.
PS: Now that I am officially a sharp, I’m sure we are setting up for quite the season. Either we remain in the camp of knives, razor blades, needles, and nails. Or we go belly up because Vegas has me in the crosshairs. Fuck you Vegas, I can buy myself flowers.
Running Record: (377-315-7)
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