The Degenerate Digest v.61

Wow. Here we are. Another season of the Digest. If you were to hold your hand up right now and count how many years I’ve been doing this, you’d need all 5 fingers to do so. That’s right, half a decade. Half a decade dedicated to making you money living and breathing college football. Over the years I have paid your bills, bought your kids birthday presents, and even supported your likely functional alcoholism. I did that. You're welcome. We start the season off as we do every year with Week 0. A week that gets brushed aside by most, but not Joey Digest. I stare in awe at the small but day-long slate in wonder and excitement, knowing that the best time of year is upon us. 5 games to start us off for the 5th season of the Digest, lets make some fucking money. College football is back!

Nebraska @ Illinois: Nebraska -6.5

Last season, Illinois walked into Lincoln Memorial and curb-stomped the Cornhuskers 41-23. Uhhh can you say revenge game? Bret Bielema comes into his first season with the Illini with dramatically high expectations. He’ll get a first look as to what this program actually is today. A lot of people (when I say a lot of people I mean strictly the Illini faithful) are saying Brandon Peters has an arm. Really? Brandon Peters? Mhmm. An iffy QB in my eyes under a new offensive scheme likely spells slow start. Nebraska will come out hot with the run game early and that should open up their down field game in the second half. It might be close to start, but Nebraska is not going to come into this game unprepared unlike the Illinois locker room who seems to be overlooking this game a tab bit...

Final Score: Nebraska 32, Illinois 21

UConn @ Fresno State: Fresno State -27.5

I’m really not going to do a deep dive on this one mainly because I think I’ll be trying to get a book to take Fresno State -39.5. UConn STINKS. It's a completely broken program. Akin to the cologne Sex Panther used by Brian Fantana. UConn fans might think 60% of the time it works, every time. But 100% of the time, it will not work for UConn this season. I’ll be surprised if they get 1 win.

Final Score: Fresno State 54, UConn 10

Hawaii @ UCLA: UCLA Total Points Under 41.5

I’m actually pretty high on UCLA this season. Mainly because the PAC-12 is set to collapse on itself once again leaving any appearance from the College Football Playoff. But I do think they will be a front runner for the conference championship. Chip Kelly has this offense set for success and they will be a team to keep an eye on for over bets this season. With that said, the Bruins have a long standing track record of starting out slow. The question here is when will it click today? The first quarter? The first half? I think Hawaii’s defense will get a good couple series in before UCLA gets rolling. From there the flood gates will open, but Hawaii has enough talent offensively to move the ball and kill some time as well. Look for points from both sides, but lean lighter on the home team total.

Final Score: UCLA 38, Hawaii 21

UTEP @ New Mexico State: New Mexico State +9.5

I’ll be upfront and honest here, I don’t know shit about these two teams. The only thing I know is that New Mexico State has won their last 3 in this series and also had the ability to participate in spring ball. UTEP on the other hand, from what I’m told, has more depth and offensive weapons to score first and that will be the difference maker. The Aggies will be chasing all game, but chasing close enough to cover potentially in garbage time.

Final Score: UTEP 34, New Mexico State 27

Southern Utah @ San Jose State: San Jose State -24.5

San Jose State was a ranked team for basically all of last season, only to get demolished by Ball State in the Arizona Bowl (never look past the MAC, baby!). The Spartans defense aims to regroup and start off the season as a leader in the Mountain West, and they will. Southern Utah just lacks anything offensively to do much against any team let alone one primed for success on the defensive end. It will really come down to whether or not transfer Nick Starkel and weapons Tyler Nevens, Isaish Hamilton, and Jermaine Braddock will be able to click in this game and put up enough points to cover. I believe they can and will.

Final Score: San Jose State 35, Southern Utah 10

RUN IT!

Running Record: (92-70-3)