The Degenerate Digest v.137

Well, would you look at that? Joey Digest showed up again. Any given Saturday. I’m sure Vegas thought with all the extra attention on my picks last week following the perfect Week 0 card, I would duff it. I’m sure that dweebus Jeffrey Benson at Circa probably boosted all the odds on my picks because he thought there was no chance I could handle the pressure. Laughing on my way to the bank! I’m going down, down baby, your street in a Range Rover! 

Looking back on some of the Week One games, here are 5 things I learned: 

1. Archie Manning will be fine, but he might also just be fine

2. No one should refer to Memorial Stadium as Death Valley again until Clemson beats LSU

3. Michael Penix might be the best quarterback ever seeing how Kalen DeBoer is shaping up

4. The U might be back

5. Bill Belichick will be fine, but he might also just be fine

Today’s slate is stinky, but it's filled with winners. Week Two!

Iowa @ (16) Iowa State: Iowa +3.5

The Cy-Hawk game! I’m not quite sure why Iowa is catching points here. In my opinion they are the better team on paper, but this matchup is always close. Surprisingly enough, the road team has won the last 5 matchups. I also just think Iowa State is in a spot where they can afford a loss. A big win in Ireland against Kansas State, and a fairly light schedule ahead. The Hawkeyes on the other hand, have Indiana, Penn State, and Oregon later in the year. A win today would certainly mean more to them now. Let South Dakota State transfer, Matt Gronowski, open the defense up early. It will be smooth sailing from there.

Final Score: Iowa 24, Iowa State 21

Baylor @ (17) SMU: Baylor ML, Over 64.5

Coming into the season, I thought Baylor's offense was going to be one of the best in the Big 12. They didn’t do that take any favors against Auburn. But maybe Auburn’s defense is just sick. Maybe SMU’s defense is just not sick. You following me here? Let the Bear’s cook. 

Also, I would be remiss to not mention the reverse line movement here on the total.

Opened: 60.5

Bets: 97% under

Money: 78% under

Line moved up 4 points

Final Score: Baylor 37, SMU 34

Kansas @ Missouri: Alt Line Parlay, Kansas +17.5 - Over 45.5

The Border War returns! Both Jalon Daniels and Penn State transfer, Beau Pribula, are looking hawt hawt hawt to start. They’ve both played nobodies, but let me bask in the thought that this game could be a shootout. I’m picturing it now. Completion, completion, scramble for a first down out of bounds, completion, touchdown. Both guys just being dudes. What’s better than this? Yeah. Yeah I like the sound of this. 

Final Score: Missouri 69, Kansas 69, they shake hands call it a day and go out for beers after 

(15) Michigan @ (18) Oklahoma: Oklahoma -5.5

Is John Mateer going to bring Boomer Sooner back to the place it belongs? I’m choosing to believe so. Tim Tebow compared him to Johnny Manziel this week. You can’t be a fan of college football and not root for a Tim Tebow stamped Johnny Manziel comparable. I have no choice but to take OU here. If you’re saying to yourself ‘Joey Digest, yes of course you have a choice’, you’re simply incorrect. Wrong, in fact. I have no choice. 

Also, isn't this line weird to begin with? Michigan is 5.5 point underdogs to a program that hasn't been remotely relevant in years? Don't you think that's a little odd? Like I said - no choice. I have no choice.

Final Score: Oklahoma 28, Michigan 21

Stanford @ BYU: BYU -20.5 

I know, a big spread to close us out isn’t exactly the best look. But you know what else isn’t the best look? Stanford's quarterback. I watched a good chunk of the Hawaii game and holy fuck was he bad.

Meanwhile, BYU beat the doors off Portland State 69-0, and will be looking to continue that momentum as they try to get back into the AP Top 25 where they belong. 

Final Score: BYU 38, Stanford 14

No #PremiumMemberTickleTeaser, but I do have another lock I would happily share for the dedicated Degenerates who simply ask for it. DMs are open.

Running Record: (321-267-7)