Leave it to Vegas to take your rat line shtick and swap out the cheese for a warm serving of humble pie. Also, leave it to daycare to get your kid sick non-stop and even when you’re not allowed to bring the sick kid in they still pay a house visit and threaten to break your knees if you don’t pay the full bill. Daycare is wayyyy worse than Vegas. I’ll happily clean my humble pie plate and move along. A sick baby means one thing, and one thing only. Shooters shoot, rapid fire

Not a bad showing from Octotals. Going 3-2 in a total’s only slate is pretty impressive if I do say so myself. You know damn well you could never call a totals only slate like that off sheer whim cause you were looking for a theme for your college football gambling blog. Don’t sweat it, not everyone can be like Joey Digest. What a slate we have before us for Week Six. Chalk full of some tremendous conference play, ranked matchups, hurricanes, and an insane amount of rat line

King of the ALPS. 4-1 really got me thinking of running away and never looking back. Just only posting alt line parlays for the rest of my life. However, those odds are a touch less juicy, and I want to make sure we stay on our toes in other facets of the gambling world. Have no fear dear degenerate, the ALPS will return one day. They’re not mountains, they’re waves. We’ve hit the point in the season where conference games are fully under way, and we’re starting to get more d

Stop. We need a TIMEOUT. What do you mean we’re already basically a third of the way through the season? Petition to move all of CFB and its fandom to Miller’s planet from Interstellar where one hour is the equivalent of seven years on earth - that way we can reallllllly soak it in. I wonder if they have crisp, cold, people’s gold on Miller’s planet? I would imagine they must. Maybe Miller himself slowed time AND created great tasting, less fillings all to enjoy this beautifu

Everyone and their mother lost last week. Big whoop. It happens. I am getting a little concerned that the reverse line movement data I once was able to trust, is effectively useless with how lines open preseason. But only a little concerned. Every line made sense, the performance on the field just didn’t translate an inch or two more. Shit, even the #PremiumMemberTickleTeaser only lost by a 6 point margin on a 9-leg smack-a-roonie-doonie. We’re settling in. We take our medici

Congratulations. We’ve done it again. A profitable week of college football. But Joey Digest, you went 3-4. No, you went 3-4. Myself and my loyal readers went 4-4, but with much better odds thanks to the #JoeyDigestLaboringOnLaborDaySpecial. But, but, I - I didn’t know how to get it! For those bitching and moaning about not knowing how to get some of my private pics, please visit my other site here. For those not bitching and moaning, but would like my more exclusive picks wh

Rivalry Week. Plenty of chaos already hitting the papers. No, not the chaos of your drunk uncle doing his best Shane Gillis impression of a President Trump impression of his most recent tweet at Thanksgiving , but chaos in the college football landscape. Lane Kiffin watch remains in effect, even after a convincing victory in the Egg Bowl yesterday. Texas A&M finally goes down, giving paths for Georgia and Ole Miss entry into the SEC title game. The ACC has a bajillion options

Turns out your gut speaks to you this time of year. We’re approaching some of the best eating seasons, of course it wants you in the win column. How else are you affording that smoked turkey and honey baked ham? With the penultimate week of college football upon us, I want to be clear in my intentions for today’s lack-luster slate. We need more. If year one of the 12-team playoff taught me anything, it’s that I want to hammer each and every game this post-season. And the onl

Me after reading all of my DM’s following last week’s 1-4 performance.. I understand this is all part of the gig. I can take the criticism. No problem. What I don’t understand is you bums acting like I haven’t kept your wallets in a place of comfort. I’m a securities firm you fools. 40-26 on the year. 61%. Do we have a problem here? I know when to put my hand up, I haven’t been seeing the board right. But let’s not get desperate here. No reason to bring out the coin flip jus

Well that wasn’t pleasant. At least we can say we made it to Week 9 before getting skull fucked. I blame getting my wisdom teeth out. I lacked wisdom. I may never be wise again. We’ll find out this week. Before we get to this week though, we need to talk about the current state of broadcasting options for consumers. This whole YouTube TV/ESPN (Disney) thing is an outrage. It’s a scandal. There are a few things here that really grind my gears. The internet has singlehandedly

I told you there was something in the air last week. What do you want me to do about the Clemson wave? It crashed an hour before kickoff when Cade Klubnik was ruled a no-go out of nowhere. What do you want me to do about the best color game in sports over? God said ‘ rain during the most important play of the game for the over ’, and our luck went about 20 yards left of the goalpost. When something is in the air, there is seemingly nothing you can do. What do you want me to d

Now THIS is spooky season. There is something in the air of late. It could be my farts, but it could also just be the chaos that is college football. Time to make a list. James Franklin, smell my farts Oregon loses to Indiana Oklahoma rushed back John Mateer Cignetti extension Bill Belichick has a really cool website made by his 24 year old graphic designer Matt Rhule did his best James Franklin impression the minute he was rumored to be the next head coach in Happy Valley

Anyone that has issues with last week's 3-5 record can always submit feedback to our complaint department. Some of you degenerates really have no self-awareness. Blasting me for a losing week in an all time winning season to date, and basically admitting that you can’t read. Yeah, that’s right ya hillbillies, ya can’t read. Do yourself a favor, if you can even read this, and go back to last week’s newsletter for the Clemson breakdown. I basically told you to put your blanke

Ah, yes. The start of fall. Time to sell all the things most people wanted to buy this summer. Alabama being dead, James Franklin still...

Volume 140? Shiiiiiiitttttttttt I could go for 1-40 myself right now… A Friday night in the Poconos will do it to ya. Even ran into a...