The Degenerate Digest v.144

I told you there was something in the air last week. What do you want me to do about the Clemson wave? It crashed an hour before kickoff when Cade Klubnik was ruled a no-go out of nowhere. What do you want me to do about the best color game in sports over? God said ‘rain during the most important play of the game for the over’, and our luck went about 20 yards left of the goalpost.

When something is in the air, there is seemingly nothing you can do. What do you want me to do, mask up? Vaccinate against Vegas? Could a masked Vegas vaxxer do this?

A lot of people are asking if that’s a clip of Tony Hawk ripping 900s, well it’s not. That’s me spinning through whatever was in the air last week to a 3-2 record.

I think there are a lot of opportunities on the board this week. Only a handful of truly marquee matchups, so not the best slate for late October - but plenty of opportunity. Let’s breathe in the fresh air, McTwist when needed, and come out on top once again. Week 9! 

(8) Ole Miss @ (13) Oklahoma: Alt Line Parlay, Ole Miss +13.5 & O44.5

I look at alt line parlays like Kel looks at orange soda. 

Is John Mateer’s hand fully healthy? Or do we have a Russel Wilson situation on our.. hands? As someone invested in his no-longer-existent Heisman stock, I’m still rooting for him to have a strong close to the year. The CFB Playoff is better when Oklahoma is around. With that said, I just don’t see Ole Miss getting blown out with how fast they move offensively. Will the Sooners be able to keep up? They’re gonna need to at home in front of the Gaylord Family crowd. 

PS: I’ve been writing this rag for 9 years, have had plenty of sides for or against the Sooners, and I’m just now finding out their stadium is named Gaylord Family Memorial? Yikes!

Final Score: Ole Miss 28, Oklahoma 21

Utah State @ New Mexico: New Mexico -2.5

There is no place, no time, no universe, where I bet against these uniforms.

Gotta throw a fashion pick out there every now and then, on fleek. 

Final Score: New Mexico 51, Utah State 18

(4) Alabama @ South Carolina: Alabama -11.5 

This is such a classic Gamecocks cover game, but I have to do it. Yes, everyone now sees how hot Alabama has been. Yes, everyone now sees how ass South Carolina has been. Yes, everyone is calling for Shane Beamer’s head while Kalen DeBoer has his feet in the pool. But just because everyone sees it, doesn’t mean it’s wrong. The public can be right sometimes, let them eat cake.

Final Score: Alabama 34, South Carolina 20

(15) Missouri @ (10) Vanderbilt: Missouri +3

No offense to Vandy or Diego Pavia, but Missouri being a dog here is kinda wild to me. Sure, Vandy has taken it to programs like LSU and South Carolina. But the fact of the matter is, LSU and South Carolina stink. Missouri has stayed in every game, with their only loss coming from the Tide by 3 (makes me feel even better about the Tide today). When a matchup in this conference comes around like this, two programs looking to make noise, give me whatever points Vegas is willing to provide. 

Final Score: Missouri 34, Vanderbilt 32

Baylor @ (21) Cincinnati: Baylor +3.5

Is the name ‘Bearcat’ stolen valor towards Bears? I don’t even think the term is proper in biology. If you look up ‘Bearcat’ on google, it automatically directs to Binturong on Wikipedia. I mean, look at this cute little guy..

Compared to googling Bear, which is true to itself, and would fuck that little guy up..

Sometimes you have to question the laws of nature when considering the card. It’s taking everything in me not to go Baylor outright, because no shot that little shit deserves a 7-1 record. But Bear’s are known for playing with their food, I’ll take the points.

Final Score: Baylor 31, Cincinnati 28

TCU @ WVU: Over 55.5

TCU is averaging 36 points per game. 

WVU’s defense is allowing 31 points per game. 

Open: 54.5

Bets: 61% Under

Money: 56% Under

Line moved up, back it up pal! 

Final Score: WVU 32, TCU 31

Normally after a win-streak ends I would take a moment to reflect. But there’s only like 5 regular season weeks remaining in the season which is super fucked up so I’m going to #StayBlessed with another #PremiumMemberTickleTeaser. DM’s are open. 

Running Record: (347-283-7)