The Degenerate Digest v.145

Well that wasn’t pleasant. At least we can say we made it to Week 9 before getting skull fucked. I blame getting my wisdom teeth out. I lacked wisdom. I may never be wise again. We’ll find out this week.

Before we get to this week though, we need to talk about the current state of broadcasting options for consumers. This whole YouTube TV/ESPN (Disney) thing is an outrage. It’s a scandal.

There are a few things here that really grind my gears. 

1. The internet has singlehandedly ruined society on all fronts except for one website, thedegeneratedigest.com.

2. When the Industrial Revolution took place, and the world as it was once known shifted into a completely different direction, landing in situations like this - streaming apps fighting over who consumers should be paying their country club fees - is basically one of the worst possible outcomes from the progress that generations before us tee’d up.

3. Disney ruins everything.

What am I supposed to do today? Create a Hulu Live/ESPN Plus Plus + whatever the fuck they call it account just so I can pay double what I was two days ago to watch the same fucking channels? Am I supposed to cancel YouTube TV and sign up for some off beat sports-only service like Fubo and lose access to my local sports channels and my Friday ‘Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives’ marathons on Food Network?

The whole thing is just fucked and cable companies are just sitting in the corner laughing knowing thousands of people are going to be calling their 2-hour automated sales lines all weekend trying to schedule a service rep to come out and get their shit set back up in like, 3 weeks. I just want to watch the fucking games I have been paying to watch for years what the fuck are we doing!

You know what Jack Nicholson, you’re right. There is a clear solution. Let’s go to the bar!

Navy @ North Texas: Over 65.5

You want a pick for Vanderbilt/Texas? Not a chance pal. Ohio State/PSU? Get lost. Real ball knowers across the country will be locked in for the best game of the noon slate. The Midshipmen (7-0) vs. The Mean Green (7-1). These two teams put up enough points to make you second guess box scores on whether or not it’s football or basketball. Navy is averaging 37 points per game, and North Texas is clocking in at 46. Let’s just have a fun start to the day at the bar and root for points, shall we? 

Final Score: North Texas 42, Navy 38

(5) Georgia @ Florida: Alt Line Parlay, Georgia -3.5 & Under 60.5

The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. Good thing we’ll be at the bar to watch this rivalry. Georgia off a bye, Florida without Billy Napier, things could get interesting. Logic here stands with a little football brain, and a little reverse line movement brain.

Football brain: Georgia can’t lose this game if they want a shot at the SEC title. With Texas A&M and Alabama still ahead of them in the standings, and with Texas and Georgia Tech still on the schedule, they cannot lose this game. Kirby won’t get beat by some assistant coach. Not a chance.

Reverse Line Movement brain: Line opened at 51.5, 72% of the money is on the over, line has come down to 50.5. They’re enticing you to keep putting cash on the over. 

Listen to your brain(s). 

Final Score: Georgia 28, Florida 21

South Carolina @ (7) Ole Miss: Alt Line Parlay, Ole Miss -2.5 & Over 50.5

Friggin LaNorris Sellers. Just had to have his game of the year against the Tide. My dog still isn’t over it. Anyhoot, back to back Alt Line Parlays? Hahahaha, so called ‘sharps’ across the nation are disgusted.

Very similar stance here with Ole Miss. They can’t lose this game if they want a shot at the SEC title game. They’re tied in-conference with Georgia, and they still have Florida and Mississippi State in the Egg Bowl on the schedule. 

We also know they put up points, so we really just need the Gamecocks to get down the field a handful of times to bring this home. 

Final Score: Ole Miss 32, South Carolina 23

(18) Oklahoma @ (14) Tennessee: Alt Line Parlay, Tennessee +4.5 & Over 45.5

Every old head reading this just puked up their morning blood pressure medicine. THREE Alt Line Parlay’s? Relax. There’s logic and reason to all of this. And by logic and reason I mean it’s what felt right when I was taking my morning dump.

Oklahoma may have fucked up big time brining Mateer back so soon. What could have been a fantastic season for the Sooners could spiral out of control, real fast. The Volunteers don’t lose primetime games at Neyland Stadium this time of year. It’s not that they can’t, it’s that they don’t. And their offense is averaging 46 points per game. Logic. Reason.

Final Score: Tennessee 37, Oklahoma 27

Hawaii @ San Jose State: Hawaii ML

When you’re kind of in ‘fuck it’ mode on the first Saturday in November, and the clocks are moving back an hour, there is literally no reason on Earth not to bet on the Rainbow Warriors and their 1030pm kickoff. We will certainly not be at the bar still, and who cares, because this is on CBSSN. Suck it, Disney. 

Final Score: Hawaii 31, San Jose State 24

I’m not gonna lie, this is a pretty sick card. I almost don’t care if these picks hit or not, it’s just a fun card. Might be the most fun card I’ve ever created. Let’s have some fun. Can’t have fun without a teaser. When was the last time you had fun without one? Never. That’s when. #PremiumMemberTickleTeaser is fun and available, DM’s are open. 

Running Record: (349-287-7)