THE DEGENERATE DIGEST V.62

Is it nighttime? No. It’s 10am.

Am I wearing sunglasses? Yes. Yes, I am.

It’s one of those kinds of mornings for Joey Digest.

Last week we started off 2-3 and I had people up my ass about the losing record already. These same people were also hootin’ and hollerin’ about how irrelevant Week 0 is. You catch my drift? It’s fucking Week 1. The start of the show. Let’s make some magic, turn penny’s into dollars, and stack that cash.

Western Michigan @ Michigan: Michigan -16.5

I hate Michigan, I really do. Have no faith in them whatsoever. But who the fuck is Western Michigan? I’m sure this is one of those obligatory instate rivalry games that ‘has to happen’ per NCAA regulations, but I mean come on. If Michigan wants to make any headlines this year outside of the typical ‘Is Jim Harbaugh Done at Michigan?’, they win by 50 today.

Final Score: Michigan 38, Western Michigan 17

(1)Alabama @ (14) Miami: Miami +19.5

A lot of these Week One picks are based off sheer middle fingers to Vegas. You’re gonna throw two ranked teams in my face, one of which brings back a good amount of individuals in Miami, and another that wins championships year in and year out with new people each time. I’m going to fall for this trick 10 times out of 10. It needs to get out of my system in Week One. We’re going with the convicts.

Final Score: Alabama 42, Miami 27

Miami (Ohio) @ Cincinnati: Cincinnati -22.5

I have Cincinnati as one of my non-power 5 teams to potentially make the playoff this year. They should have beat Georgia last season and they are bringing back basically everyone to the program, a lot of which could have been easy grabs in transfer portal. They all stayed. They believe in what Luke Fickell is doing and I do to. Expect this team to be scorching hot to start.

Final Score: Cincinnati 55, Miami (Ohio) 17

(5) Georgia @ (3) Clemson: Georgia OUTRIGHT

This is probably the biggest Week One game in the past decade. People are really letting it just happen without talking about the consequences. If Georgia wins this, they are likely going to face Alabama in the SEC championship game and have a shot to make the playoff. JT Daniels ended FRESH last season. Can he carry that over into his final year? If Clemson wins this game (no one wants to see this), they prove that they are just as much of a recruiting powerhouse as Alabama and are a sure fire #2 in the playoff seeding behind the Crimson Tide. I guess that would help us degenerates from a gambling perspective for futures, but I mean let’s be honest – the dogs HAVE to win this game.

Final Score: Georgia 32, Clemson 28

Kent State @ (6) Texas A&M: Texas A&M -29.5

This is a perfect transition game from the one we just discussed, because if Georgia loses, Texas A&M is primed for a spot in the SEC Championship game against Alabama. And not for nothing, this spread is honestly disrespectful for the Aggies. They should win this game by 40+.

Final Score: Texas A&M 48, Kent State 10

BONUS BRANDY PICK: Holy Cross OUTRIGHT

A friend of mine was drinking brandy last night and it made me think of this song. It also made me think of a smooth, smooth wave coming in off the coast line. That’s what Brandy does to you. She’s a fine girl. The potential in this thought provoking wave is something only Brandy can bring. Bet against UConn. We’ll see where Brandy takes us.

Final Score: Holy Cross 28, UConn17

DM me for the #PremiumMemberTickleTeaser, this weeks is a DOOZY.

Running Record: (94-73-3)